S.M.A.R.T. Chase (2017) torrent download

S.M.A.R.T. Chase

2017

Action / Adventure / Crime / Drama / Mystery / Romance / Thriller

4.8

Synopsis

A washed-up private security agent has to escort a valuable Chinese antique out of Shanghai but is ambushed en route.

Director

Charles Martin

Cast

Orlando Bloom
as Danny Stratton
Leo Wu
as Ding Dong Tang
Simon Yam
as Mach Ren
Lynn Hung
as Ling Mo
Liang Jing
as Tara Yen
Xing Yu
as Long Fei

Movie Reviews

Reviewed by LogicIsEverything N/A

A short note to Olando Bloom

Mr. Bloom, I used to be your fan and liked some of your films, especially "Kingdom of Heaven", which gave certain impact to the depth of my emotion and the character you played also impressed me a lot. Your participations of all the films you've signed on never overlooked by me.

But this "The Shanghai Job" really forced me to call an end to pay any further attention to you, because this film only qualified for "straight to Wal-Mart B-movie DVD bin", not qualified for a generous wide release on the big screen. Please do not get involve with any film backed up by any Chinese production in the future. This film is just so pretentious and phony and so painful to watch, not just terrible.

Also, dying your hair into a blond only gave me such a pain to watch, it looked just so repellently unnatural. Your heavy South African English accent in this film also turned me off further. The story is so childishly ridiculous, the scenarios and the plots both laughable, the directing so mediocre, genetic and boring. All the supporting actors, some of them are veterans and reputed in mainland China or in Hong Kong, but they were also ridiculed and wasted by this ridiculous and childish screenplay. It's, like I've said before, so painful to watch.

This film is so bad and I really don't want to waste more words to review it, 'cause it's unworthy.

Reviewed by TopDawgCritic 5 /10

C-grade production with B-list bleached blonde Bloom in a film that wasn't SMART

This has Made in China all over it. From the loud and annoying cheesy score, action scenes, writing and acting. The only thing decent in the film was the beautiful scenery and the adequate directing. I couldn't get past Blooms' cheeseball bleached blonde hair that made him look more like a fruit cake than a tough guy. Bad choice of casting to begin with. And who names a character Ding-Dong anyway lol? There was so much cheese in this film it made me lack toes in toll her ants. ;p A generous 5/10 from me.

Reviewed by gbkimberley 3 /10

Orlando Balloon - Actor

Considered amongst many film critics to be the very best at convincingly portraying a piece of very thin, soaking wet, tissue paper and possessing the emotional range of a balloon with a face drawn on it, Orlando Balloon has proven time and time again that you don't actually need to be able to act in order to be successfully mistaken for an actor.

In this latest offering he succeeds spectacularly in proving so again. The addition this time around of a mop of blonde hair and a selection of small cuts to his face and various 'hero' poses, all fail in adding any real depth to his standard facial expression or to this flop. It's dire.

Fortunately for all concerned, Orlando cannot confirm what his next role might be and it really isn't worth watching this movie to see for yourself why that is.

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