What happened in Lacey's family has happened in many, many families over the years. A woman has an affair while married, gets pregnant, and chooses to raise the child as if they are the child of their husband. Sometimes the husband is aware and sometimes they are not. Sometimes the affair partner looks like the husband and sometimes they do not. Sometimes the child looks very out of place from the rest of the family and sometimes they do not. Women and men have their own reasons for keeping these things to themselves. My disappointment is that Lacey seems to miss the love and acceptance in her family. She assumes that they all suspected she was black but were just keeping it a secret, as if it were something they considered shameful. Perhaps they truly didn't care if she were half black, or any other race or nationality. Perhaps they were accepting and encouraging of the possibility that a married couple was trying to stay together and become a loving family for their child, even if an affair was suspected. That certainly was my feeling as she was telling about her upbringing. She was clearly loved as a member of the family, no questions asked and no declarations about which race she sided with needed.
I found the story disingenuous as she repeatedly states she lived in an all white world and didn't see black people until high school. She stated she didn't even think about race. Later she introduces Rodney by saying he was a man she had known all of her life. Several family members or friends relate stories about him so he was clearly involved with her family. I also question her description of black people as thinking that they have to try harder for their achievements to be recognized - this came shortly after she said she was admitted to Georgetown because she looked black in her picture. Unfortunately it is when institutions decide that we black people must be treated differently because of the way we look that we end up having to try harder. I hope that Lacey will learn that looking to the color of her skin will only serve to segregate her in society. I think her family saw beyond her skin color and I admire that. I think that is the only way we will all be equal and free is to see each other as people and not members of a certain race.