American Ninja (1985) torrent download

American Ninja

1985

Action / Adventure / Romance

5.5

Synopsis

Joe Armstrong, an orphaned drifter will little respect for much other than martial arts, finds himself on an American Army base in The Philippines after a judge gives him a choice of enlistment or prison. On one of his first missions driving a convoy, his platoon is attacked by a group of rebels who try to steal the weapons the platoon is transporting and kidnap Patricia, the base colonel's daughter, who happens to be along for the ride. Joe rescues Patricia and gets her safely back to the base, but everyone else in the platoon is killed, leading his superiors to conclude that Joe is guilty of cowardice, collaboration or simple incompetence. At the same time, the rebel leader vows revenge against the serviceman who disrupted his plans, and sends an army of ninjas to assassinate him and bring back Patricia. If he wants to survive and save the girl, Joe's going to have to draw on every last ounce of his training.

Director

Sam Firstenberg

Cast

Michael Dudikoff
as Pvt. Joe Armstrong
Steve James
as Cpl. Curtis Jackson
Judie Aronson
as Patricia Hickock
Guich Koock
as Col. William T. Hickock
John Fujioka
as Shinyuki
Don Stewart
as Victor Ortega
John LaMotta
as MSgt. Rinaldo

Movie Reviews

Reviewed by Spoffdarko 10 /10

Firmly in the "so bad it's good" category

The title of my review aside, I adore this film.

When American Ninja was released on VHS back in 1986 Ninja fever was rampant. Even in the sleepy little village where I lived in England, every single boy of my age dreamed of being a ninja. The school playground was rampant with us wannabe assassins in duffel coats!

In the aforementioned little village we only had one video shop, I spent weeks and weeks in a state of despair on Saturday afternoons, as we would go there only to see the dreaded "Film on loan" tab attached to the box.

Eventually we finally turned up one afternoon and it was there...With no "Film on loan" tab on it! my life was finally complete and we took it home. My parents were never really into the whole "film ratings exist for a reason" thing. Incidentally, neither were the parents of pretty much all my friends, ahhh...The 80's, these young un's today don't know what they missed.

Saturday evening finally came and American Ninja was inserted into the top-loader...As I sat eating my Vesta curry, My life literally changed in the following 90 minutes, I learned more than any teacher could ever show me at school, Joe was literally a god! This guy could do anything...Beat anyone! Most of my friends had already seen it and we were all finally on the same Ninja wavelength! We practiced Joe's moves, disappeared in a "cloud of smoke" (England gets a lot of fog in Autumn/ Winter) behind the school canteen, jumped over the tyres in the playground as part of our "ninja training school".

Watching it back a couple of weeks ago (now I am 38) It is total crap, but total crap of the highest order. I thought ninja's were actually, you know, supposed to be elite assassins. Here the baddie Ninjas seem to get away with being pretty mediocre to be fair, they miss the easiest targets, get knocked out by really bad punches and kicks, do lots of unnecessary front and back flips, and generally don't really perform very well. Our hero Joe also seems to have a problem, he acts like he has something uncomfortable inserted into his anus most of the time, even when he smiles.

The whole thing is just laughable.

But laughable in the best possible way.

Thank you Golan Globus and Cannon films, thank you Michael Dudikoff and Steve James, thank you the guy who did the music.

I am indebted to you all for this slice of my childhood that I can also enjoy now I am a grown-up, albeit in a different but still entirely satisfying way!

If you are in any way intrigued by the mystery that is American Ninja, I implore you to crack a beer, grab a big bag of crisps and settle down, you will not be disappointed!

Reviewed by dice-5 8 /10

An hour and half of my childhood.

I think this should be required viewing for any male child 13 years or younger. I have no idea how many times I saw this movie growing up, but it is easily over 15 times. Maybe twice that. It has everything a boy who plays with action figures could want, NINJA's, G.I.Joe's (for god sakes his name was even Joe), lasers, flips, sai's, cat's claws, wrist lasers, machine guns, sword fights while in knee deep water (fights in water are always WAY cool), buff dudes with muscles, motercycles, a chick, characters with a disrespect for authority, a butterfly knife being flipped back and forth as Joe cooly leans against a truck, guys getting kicked in the nuts, did I mention flips? Anyway it goes on and on. All the cheesy effects make it all the more fun to view. I just watched the DVD after not having seen it for a few years and I just caught another good effect. When Joe and Patricia jump off the roof, there is an obviously inflated balloon on the roof that they land on. I remember my brothers and I putting sweat wrist bands on our hands as a child and pretending they were the cat's claws thingies that the black star ninja and Joe had. We had some awesome battles. I was probably a ninja for at least 3 Halloweens when I was a child as well. I was an "army guy" for another few Halloweens. I was the coolest. Anyway American Ninja rocks. By the way I don't know the name of the movie (I'm sure I could find it out here on imdb easy enough if I cared to look) but a few years back I was flipping throught the channels and I came across a movie where the Michael Dudikoff and Mark Hamill were fighting. Luke Skywalker fighting the American Ninja!??! I kids dream come true. So go see this movie. Or even better, show your young son, nephew, or whoever this movie.

Reviewed by jedibolger N/A

Dude the Koff : Word !

Although others might disagree, I strongly believe that there are far too many beautiful moments in this film that do demand mention and critique :

· Close you eyes and LISTEN to the last few seconds of the credit's score. That is one *enraged* horn.

· There are lots of chubby and scruffy-haired men in The Army in this movie.

· In the 1st back-shot, there is obviously no gun on the first hijacker that approaches the caravan. In the next two shots, there obviously is a gun strapped behind him.

· Dudikoff does a lot of bunny hops and touchdown-dives in his first battle sequence for no apparent reason.

· Black Army Dude : Gets shot in the back with an arrow AND gets stabbed in the stomach with a sword. Later, when Black Star Ninja orders his men after Joe, can be seen getting up and walking off the set. (*)

· The First Truck that Dudikoff helps out in the first shot leaves with its back flap open. Later, it's tied down.

· Ninja's carefully sliding down palm tree's like Ghostbusters's

· (*) ALSO : The second arrow that the Palm Tree Ninja fires at the 2nd Army dude is in the scene before he fires it.

· Not even his commanding officers seem to know Joe's name or rank.

· Everybody makes a big deal about Joe being the `American Ninja' but no one mentions that Senior Ortega only hires Phillipino Ninjas. What's up with that ?

· `He Posses great SKILLS.'

· Happy, light-hearted music during the 'Romancing The Stone' moment when Joe cuts the Cornell's daughter's miniskirt.

· Ninja look over bush. Ninja look under bush.

· Joe hangs out with The Cornell's Daughter and the movie turns into an Irish Spring commercial few a few terrifying moments. Joe looks sincerely nervous, confused, and sexually frustrated during this awkward moment.

· `Have you ever heard of Nijistu, Sir ?...Well, according to witness testimony and evidence, this massacre was the work of Ninjas.'

· `Ninjas ?'

· `Yes, Sir.'

· Senior Ortega : The Frenchman ? Dude, come on ! Make up your mind !

· Joe does a great lazy-ass, pansy, salute and then 90-degree exit, stage left.

· `Date of Birth : Unknown... But at age 16 was sent to reform school for almost killing a man.' Now, wait a second. If you don't know when you were born, how can you tell when you are 16 ?

· `Construction crew found him in an island off the Pacific 6 years ago, knocked unconscious by an explosion where they were blasting a road threw the jungle.' Remember this quote. That means that all of the flashbacks to when Joe was a VERY pre-pubescent child, was only `6 years ago.' Ninja time-warp paradox.

· As is mentioned before, Senior Ortega, in a very Austin Powers moment, likes to describe his plans allowed in front of the Mr. Mijagi Guy.

· Color-cornated ninja running through the swing set of death traps.

· The chubby Army troop that Jackson leads in March is pretending to, but really isn't, mumbling any type of military drill march.

· `We left all the glory boys in Vietnam.'

· `Ain't this a bitch ? I've been instructing martial arts in the Army for many years now.....'

· When Jackson presses Joe about his kung-fu origins, Joe answers that, `It's a long story.' He then proceeds to describe that `long story' in 4 sentences : 13 seconds flat.

· `I knew I touched something again.'

· Joe gives Jackson a manly head-nuggie in a very Top Gun oily-bicep moment.

· Charlie asks Joe how he plans to get off the base without the MP's noticing and Joe is like, `Well, check out that huge ramp that someone conveniently left right next to that wall.' Whomever was Dudikoff's stunt double that day earned their pay the hard way. Watch that landing in slow motion and try not to cringe. Our friend, the horn, is also back with a vengeance.

· Senior Ortega feels not only comfortable explaining his plans aloud to the Mr. Mijiagi Guy, but also in giving assignation commands in front of his waiter.

· Just as Joe's commanding officers don't know his name or rank, Joe never has to identify himself when showing up for duty.

· When hosting Saturday Night Live, John Goodman had this great `Ninja Community Collage' skit where he tried unsuccessfully to train his class of ninja to attack their enemy all at once, instead of one at a time. They even sampled clips from `American Ninja 3'. Only after viewing this movie a few times over can you appreciate the brilliant humor of that skit.

· Ninja in a box !

· In the Indian Jones / Lethal Weapon / Cape Fear moment, Joe hides under the truck. From his vantage point, you can see that as they pull into the warehouse that the driveway is empty. In the next shot there are 4 ninja (3 left : 1 right) standing in the driveway.

· Bonus points if you catch the Black Star Ninja's bald spot !

· The Ambushed guard is very obedient when Joe stuffs him into a barrel.

· Just as the are random ramps around the base, there are also random ladders next to the barbed wire fences of the stockade.

· When caught in an arm lock, Joe just kind of blows off the Black Star Ninja.

· ½ hour later, Jackson signals Joe in the motor pool with his truck's headlights.even though Joe is only a few feet off-stage to our left.

· `You gotta trust somebody, sometime !'

· Jackson drop kicks one dude's rifle then throws down a great , `Peace !....never mind.' sign.

· The Segarant's exploding car. Like a Pinto in heat.

· `Without this shipment, this county will fall to the Communists !'

· Bonus points if you can spot the Cornell's bald spot.

· Close your eyes and listen to Joe kick people in the nuts.

· The Mr. Mijagi Guy pops up again and we have a flashback back to `when I was 6' which, according to the previous information, was `6 years ago.' Which means that Joe is now 12 years old and in the Army because `at age 16 he was sent to reform school for almost killing a man.' Ninja time warp paradox.

· `Beware the Black Star Ninja. He just saw Jedi last night for the 15th time and is biting it's plot, big time.'

· As mentioned before, we are in store for a great massacre royal. Every extra gives performances above and beyond the call of duty, but honorable mention does go out to :

· 2nd person that Jackson shoots on balcony who drops his weapon and climbs FORWARD, over balcony.

· Dude who suddenly appears on the hood of Jackson's jeep than just as suddenly pushes himself off.

· Guy in the corner of the roof who throws his hands up in the air and waves them just like he just don't care.

· Ninja flamethrower ! Ninja wrist machine gun ! Ninja laser !

· Joe jumps onto a real helicopter with a front rail. Later, a toy model helicopter with no front rail is blown up by Jackson.

· Like I said, this is a priceless movie filled with many a beautiful moment, only a few that I have shared with you here. Anyone who is serious about being a director/ editor should study this film intently for 72 hours and then write their own thesis. Myself, I pledge to you, the good people of the imdb.com board, that when I become Quinten Tarinatino famous (or at least Kevin Smith successful) to hunt down and employ Michael Dudikoff in a cameo role in EVERY SINGLE one of my big-budget films. It's the least that we owe him for his contribution to our art form.

· Strength and honor -

· Bolger.

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