..I really do.
This is nothing more than a poorly conceived and executed advertisement for the Queensland Gold Coast hinterland. The kind of movie where the action (such as it is) limps from one rube-magnet tourist trap to the next, with the camera dwelling jarringly on the signage at each new location along the way.
I can't think of a single reason to recommend this film - but plenty to recommend against it. Fans of Mr Cusack or Mr Jane will descend quickly from confusion, to dismay, to disgust as they realise the dross the two have allowed themselves to be party to. The endless succession of car chases is unimaginative and unmoving. The performances so lifeless the cast may as well have been reciting directly from the page.
The most interesting thing about this movie is its utter, utter, utter absence of wit, style or inspiration. It will leave you genuinely searching, grasping, for reasons why a group of adults with money would possibly choose to produce something like this - something so inanely artless. My god, if you're going to take the effort to get out of bed and point a camera at something, why (how!) would you not come up with something more satisfying - something more worthy of being put before a paying audience?
I really need to take a shower. This was not just forgettable - it was depressing. Beyond pointless.