Why, oh, why, can Hollywood assemble such a fantastic cast, and fail the cast members so miserably with the script? Stay home and watch a "Friends" rerun and you'll probably witness a more coherent, funnier, and truer script.
Every actor in this cast, including Terry Bradshaw, a former football player, is fantastic.
In fact, why can Terry Bradshaw, a former football player, act better than professional Hollywood writers can write? This script is a mess. Scenes are short and borderline incoherent, or so dumb as to be targeted at an audience too young to care about romance. What's the point of putting goofy scenes, like the fake bird fake CPR scene, a scene that every seven year old in the audience will wake up for, in an alleged "romantic" comedy? There's no romance here. None. Zero. Zip. How do you put two such beautiful, sexy, charismatic actors -- Matthew McConaughey and Sarah Jessica Parker -- in a movie, and yet have absolutely zero romance or heat or sexual chemistry in the movie? I mean, you'd really have to be trying to make a movie this erotically neutered with two such stars.
Nothing here makes much of any sense at all. The scenes are a jumble of failed ideas quickly abandoned. The direction and editing are nil.
A few scenes are ridiculous and childish. Matthew McConaughey is repeatedly attacked by wild animals. These scenes just never take off.
A few scenes are painful.
MM takes SJP on a date on someone else's boat, pretending that it's his. He's caught, and has to run away. Is he supposed to be such a tacky character? Why is SJP supposed to fall in love with him? After MM discovers that his parents have been paying SJP to date him (this isn't a spoiler; this plot device is revealed early on), he uses a particularly crude word to tell her to go away. It's a believable reaction, but since everything else in the movie is so unbelievable, it's just awkward and does not fit.
Then there is the scene where one group of characters spies on another couple of characters via webcams. It's meant to be heartwarming, but it's just utterly unbelievable and really creepy. Whoever scripted this scene is tone deaf.
And a few scenes are just plain bizarre, as if they came from another movie.
This is such a shame. The actors were up for it, but the script writers and director gave them nothing to work with.