Machete Kills (2013) torrent download

Machete Kills

2013

Action / Comedy / Crime / Sci-Fi / Thriller

5.6

Synopsis

The U.S. government recruits Machete to battle his way through Mexico in order to take down an arms dealer who looks to launch a weapon into space.

Director

Robert Rodriguez

Cast

Danny Trejo
as Machete Cortez
Mel Gibson
as Luther Voz
Amber Heard
as Blanca Vasquez / Miss San Antonio
Sofía Vergara
as Desdemona
Charlie Sheen
as Mr. President

Movie Reviews

Reviewed by lnvicta 7 /10

Somehow even more ridiculous than its predecessor, but not quite as funny.

I love Machete. The character is incredible, the premise is perfect, literally everything about it just screams B-movie stupidity, and it's insanely awesome. I actually saw this movie before the first Machete so I wasn't sure what to expect, and I laughed until it hurt. Seriously, it was everything I wanted in a silly action movie. Machete Kills is somehow even more ridiculous than the first one, this time with president Charlie Sheen ordering Machete to go after a lunatic nuclear arms dealer played to perfection by Demian Bichir, and Mel Gibson wants to destroy the world and colonize space. Yeah, and you thought De Niro playing George Bush was crazy. Mel Gibson is basically a Bond villain in this movie.

This is another revenge story, except this time it's Machete's love interest Jessica Alba who is killed in front of him. Needless to say when President Sheen asks him to go on this suicide mission, Machete isn't exactly in the best frame of mind. Then again, it's f*cking Danny Trejo, so he's awesome at it anyway. The first half of the movie focuses more on Machete going after this crazy arms dealer, with random villains like Sofia Vergara with machine gun tits coming after him. There's also the shapeshifter El Cameleon played by Cuba Gooding Jr, Lady Gaga, and Antonio Banderas. Literally the best plot device to get as many famous people in a movie as possible. Then Mel kicks in during the second half of the movie and that's where it goes full-on ridiculous mode (in the best way, as if it wasn't ridiculous enough before).

After seeing Machete and Machete Kills back to back, I realize the only thing that makes Machete Kills slightly weaker is that the laughs aren't as consistent. Machete had me on the floor 90 percent of the time. Machete Kills is more like, 70 percent hilarity and 30 percent of jokes that either don't hit or are just repeated to the point of desensitization. Still, when the jokes hit, they are laugh-out-loud funny. There are gags in this movie that make the original Machete look like a documentary. Oh, and Amber Heard is the special agent helping Machete this time, and she tries to do an accent every once in a while and fails miserably, but who cares because she's sex on a stick. That's basically the trend in these movies. You try to analyze something and then think to yourself, "Who cares?" It's so damn entertaining you don't have to think at all. Just lay back and enjoy the gratuitous violence, T&A, and everything else you'd want in a ridiculous action-packed B-movie. I, for one, cannot wait for the sequel.

Reviewed by theWBohlken 8 /10

So dumb and over the top.... EXACTLY what i paid for!

I am a fan of the first one, I am a fan of Grindhouse and I love over the top movies. Going in to this I knew that it was going to be bloody, cheesy and awesome. It surprised me that this did not do as well as the first one or even close to it. The original was a tad more serious and had some really badass parts while this one was just non stop cheesy and Grindhouse-y.

If you saw the first one, you pretty much know what to expect and what the basic concept is. Just times that times ten and you have Machete Kills. It is just a movie where you sit and don't think about it. Let it all happen and enjoy it. That is, of course, you like action movies where the hero chops every bad guy up and Sofia Vergara with her bra machine gun.

Reviewed by BA_Harrison 8 /10

Move over, Speedy Gonzales!

In Robert Rodriguez's Machete Kills, Danny Trejo's character—deadly Mexican secret agent Machete Cortez—is about as three-dimensional and grounded in realism as a Looney Tunes cartoon character tripping on peyote. For many, this move towards a crazier style with even more unbelievable splatstick violence will be a step too far, the live-action-cartoon style antics exceeding many people's willingness to suspend disbelief. However, those who can find their way safely past this potential stumbling block should have a whale of a time.

Rodriguez directs proceedings with a carefree attitude and sense of fun that I found infectious, with all ideas—no matter how dumb they must have looked on paper—making their way into the final film. Thus, we have a Bond-style baddie in the form of megalomaniac Luther Voz (Mel Gibson), our hero killing numerous henchmen in a variety of creative ways, some innovative sci-fi weaponry, plenty of cool in-jokes for us movie geeks (I loved the visual reference to Mad Max II) and a bevy of lovely latino babes in sexy gear (including Alexa Vega in PVC and Michelle Rodriguez in tight, cleavage enhancing top). Hell, Rodriguez is having so much fun that he doesn't even care about the quality of his CGI, which only adds to the gleefully gaudy vibe.

It all gets very silly, and with the next sequel featuring Machete in space, it's set to get a whole lot sillier; I for one will make sure I've booked my seat for the ride.

7.5 out of 10, rounded up to 8 for being marginally more fun than the first one.

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