Vampires Suck (2010) torrent download

Vampires Suck


Action / Adventure / Comedy / Horror



Washington's Spork town sheriff, Frank Crane, welcomes back his returning daughter, Becca. Despite obvious signs, Becca takes an unusually long time to recognise the halloween decorations up, all over. Even the odd appearances of various people, including her old friend, Jacob White, whose suddenly got canine traits (including a tail), and his odd urge to chase cats. She falls in love with sickly pale Edward Sullen, a member of the depressed, bloodthirsty adopted family of Dr. Carlton.


Jason Friedberg


Chris Riggi
as Jacob White
Jenn Proske
as Becca Crane
Bradley Dodds
as Salvatore
Kelsey Ford
as Iris Sullen

Movie Reviews

Reviewed by davewriter2003 9 /10

Giving "Twilight" the treatment it deserved!!!

Normally, I don't review movies on here, but when I read everyone else slamming this movie, I thought maybe they should get the perspective of someone who enjoyed it.

As a non-Twilight fan (haven't read the books and don't wish to for reasons to numerous to mention), I was determined to see this movie at the time when I wanted to tease a Twi-hard that I personally got to know from my disability social group about it. She refused to see this movie simply because they make fun of Twilight and Buffy, which motivated me even further.

First off, yes, there were a lot of corny sex jokes, fart jokes, pop culture and celebrity references that many reviewers said wore out their welcome with projects like Epic Movie and Meet the Spartans. That may be true, but think about this for a minute. We are talking about a franchise that has spent 500 or so pages going on and on about Edward Cullen's "great" looks, using every descriptive synonym known to man, resulting in the most annoying teenyboppers since Benji and Joel Madden put the oh-so-overrated Good Charlotte on the music map, them and the Jonas Brothers. Ask anyone who has hated the Twilight series from the start, or started to hate it once they got through their Twilight-gushing phase (in other words, they grew up and developed literary taste!) Neither the books nor the movies deserve even a quarter of the recognition they got, because all the people behind it want you to focus on is how a naive, despairing, depressed girl who doesn't know what she wants getting into a love triangle with a fairy vampire and a werewolf. That and how gorgeous Robert Pattinson looks in his sparkles and pale makeup, and the same with Taylor Lautner in his shirtless scenes. The result: hordes of groupie girls going so far as to unrealistically want to have Edward Cullen and Jacob Black's children, despite the fact they are fictional characters. It's ridiculous and absurd, to say the least!

This is why "Vampires Suck" can be halfway appreciated. You can easily laugh at the jokes in this movie because even those who hated it know that this highly overrated saga had this coming all along. And for the aforementioned crimes that this literary atrocity committed, the Twilight saga got the bashing and ridicule it so richly deserved.

So if you disliked it the first time because it made you think of the unfunny torture you experienced after flops like the Scary Movie franchise after the first movie, Disaster Movie, Date Movie, Epic Movie, Superhero Movie, and so on, I challenge you to watch this again when it comes out on DVD, and think about what the "Twilight" saga has done to the worlds of both literature and cinema. I guarantee you'll developa new appreciation for this particular one.

Reviewed by tari1uk 7 /10

Vampires don't suck that much

Having had the misfortune of living with a family member who has every single spoof movie on DVD. I know from painful, bitter experience just how bad they've become over the years with Date Movie being singled out for particular attention at just how something so bad ever got released being beyond human comprehension! So it was with a huge amount of trepidation and bribing from my friend that I went along to see this and I have to say I was pleasantly surprised.

Lets get it out there right now, it's not, nor will it ever be Academy Award material. The hint after all is in the genre name, it's a "spoof" movie, and to that end it lives up pretty well to expectation. There's the usual un-PC like jokes in there (baby and bowling ball spring to mind), the relatively unknown ensemble who end up doing a better job than the original cast. Jenn Proske as Becca Crane has Kristen Stewart's awkward-ness down to a tee, whilst Matt Lanter is a far hotter Edward than Robert Pattinson!

True Twi-hards will HATE it with a vengeance, as it stereotypes everything bad about Twilight including the whole ongoing Team Edward/Team Jacob debate, and they'll definitely hate the ending, although I laughed my head off!

Yes it's completely juvenile humour, yes there are glaring omissions in the script, it sometimes feels rushed, like they didn't know how to work a certain scene, so just grazed over it in their hurry to film another scene that they had worked on, but it's bloody good fun if you're just looking for a film where you don't need to think, and you're wanting to kill an hour or so of your time

Reviewed by OmNomNom_NomNom 7 /10

Did what it had to do - Make fun of Twilight!

Being directed by the directors/writers of films such as the Scary Movie films, Epic Movie, Meet the Spartans, etc., I knew that Vampires Suck won't be good at all, and just when I was getting tired of these kind of films, I didn't need it to. I only wanted to see this because it parodies the crappiest crap in the history of crap literature and crap film. I saw it, didn't really like it, but I was surprised - It made fun of Twilight, yet it was better than it in every single way! Like I do with the other spoof films, I only watched this for some hilarity (which some of you should do instead of bashing it). I couldn't help but burst out laughing at all the jokes, even if some of them were predictable. It doesn't only parodize Twilight, but pokes a tongue at the monotony of teenagers girls who are all manipulative narcissists, or a soldier of "Team Jacob".

Compared to the forced acting in Twilight, the acting in this was Leonardo DiCaprio good. Their timing was perfect, they actually had facial expressions and varied their voice. Cough cough, Kristen. Cough cough.

The good thing is that it was less boring than Twilight. It didn't waste its time on boring, senseless conversations - It was more "action-packed", it had more blood, the vampires actually seemed like vampires, and yes - You will see its astonishing horrible special effects that you always find in the other spoof films! Futheremore, the ending was epic!!! Let's just put it at that - One of the greatest film endings of all time...

I think this is the second best spoof movie that I have seen (Spaceballs) being the first. You should give it a try, you won't be disappointed if you know what's coming.

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