Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 (2015) torrent download

Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2

2015

Action / Comedy / Crime / Family

4.4

Synopsis

After six years of keeping our malls safe, Paul Blart has earned a well-deserved vacation. He heads to Vegas with his teenage daughter before she heads off to college. But safety never takes a holiday and when duty calls, Blart answers.

Director

Andy Fickman

Cast

Kevin James
as Paul Blart
Daniella Alonso
as Divina Martinez
Neal McDonough
as Vincent Sofel
Eduardo Verástegui
as Eduardo Furtillo
D.B. Woodside
as Robinson
Nicholas Turturro
as Nick Manero

Movie Reviews

Reviewed by RealHumanBean 1 /10

The Cinematic Equivalent of Getting Shot in the Face

Speed 2. Caddyshack 2. Exorcist 2. Star Wars Episode II. These are what are typically named as the worst direct sequels ever.

Paul Blart: Mall Cop 2 may be worse than a quadruple feature of all of those. I mean it when I say Paul Blart 2 is one of the most unfunny, moronic, brain cell killing experiences I've had in a cinema. There's an extended sequence where an old man eats a rotten banana that goes on for around 15 seconds. The film begins with Blart's elderly mom getting killed by a milk truck. There's a part where Blart interrupts a stage show and knocks out all the dancers by spinning around on a rope while squealing. There's a part where Blart is attacked by and beats an exotic bird while a piano player nods and smiles (DUDE JUXTAPOSITION LMAO). There's a entire segment dedicated to showcasing multiple Checkov's Guns in the form of a mall cop convention (As if those even existed). I dunno … I didn't enjoy it.

Blart is somehow more unlikable this time around. Rather than a smug dumbass, he's now a smug asshole. The "film" is 50% him making fun of people, 30% Blart falling down, 20% plot holes, and 0% funny. I maybe chucked at some points, but truth is I don't even remember the movie or what it was I chucked at. I can say for sure there are more helicopter shots reminding the target audience (Who to be fair also probably need to be reminded to breathe and blink) that the movie is set in Vegas than there were chuckles.

You know that rotten banana I mentioned? Paul Blart 2 is that banana, and the man eating is is the decrepit and moronic public eating up the film's schlock yet again, probably paving the way for another opportunity for Adam Sandler and co. to shill even more money out of Hollywood for his posse. Like my painful experience with Transformers 4, people once again applauded upon conclusion, one elderly couple saying "That was too funny!"

There's tastes in humor and then there's standards in humor. Paul Blart 2 wasn't unfunny to me because it did not pander to my sense of humor. If anything it should have; with all the misogyny and ridiculing of fat people it should have struck my dark humor funny bone. However, there's no gags, there's no punchlines, there's no jokes. There's also no emotional backbone, chemistry, or even real characters to back it up. Characters literally appear and disappear throughout the narrative. I don't even think the villain had a name. I don't think anyone not buds with Blart had one.

This time around, not only is Paul Blart a bland copy of Die Hard, but Taken and Ocean's 11. The plot is a cluster-f of nothing. The first 45 minutes are, like I mentioned, just Blart riding around and getting up in everyone's faces for "comedic" purposes, with plenty of empty time given for the target audience to laugh hysterically at like a bad sitcom. The actual "Paul Blart beating baddies" isn't until the film's finale, and even then he doesn't actually beat anyone, because all of his "weapons" are stupidly non-lethal, including a stun gun that only stuns people for 5 seconds, a gun that shoots gum, a gun that spills marbles vertically, and a bean bag cannon. Two characters actually fall asleep in the movie, one of them twice. I felt a kinship to them for that reason.

There's a romantic subplot with Blart's daughter and a bellhop that goes literally nowhere and an even more forced "romantic subplot" between a hotel manager and Blart. She gets progressively wetter and wetter for him throughout the film, which to me is too far of a stretch of imagination to comprehend and accept. This also leads to nowhere. The female cop on the horse in he trailer? That is literally the ending. Blart himself is beyond unlikable and revolting. He is not reluctant like John McClain from Die Hard, he craves to be the center of attention since his saving on the mall 6 years ago became utterly irrelevant the day after (I wish I could say the same for the movie itself). He's incompetent, rude, crude, and physically unable to actually do anything heroic. He'd make a good anti-hero if he wasn't presented as this humble all American goody two shoes as the movie does.

The movie doesn't even take place in a mall. What's up with that? With truly atrocious jokeless dialogue ("I will bring a folk guitar to a pumpkin fight, because that's how crazy I am!"), beyond unlikable characters, an incompetent lead, a transparent and personality-less villain, disappearing subplots, stretched imagination, cliché and trope filled writing I can say Baul Plart: pop Tart Too is one of the worst films I've ever seen. Offensively stupid and brash, this blatant cashgrab managed one seemingly impossible feat, sink even lower than the previous film. Utterly baffling, this 1.5 hour Wynn commercial (Not a single scene takes place outside of it once they arrive) is to me the Transformers 2 of comedy, a wretched anorexic piece with no soul, craft, or effort put into it at all. The fraction of points I award it are for the laughs my friends and I had at making fun of it and a single shot that lasted a third of a second that looked pretty cool.

Reviewed by mynamerawr23 10 /10

Truly an excellent piece of art, one of the best

Perfect 10 is not a phrase I throw around often. However this movie truly deserves it. Kevin James of course reprises his deeply loved character once again and I couldn't be happier and honestly he delivers a performance on par with Robert de Niro in the godfather part 2. His character is complex and on many levels a hero. When I was younger I could only dream of having a movie such as this guiding me through my childhood. From the moment I see those segway wheels to the ending scene where Blart embraces death as a part of life and comes to terms with the fact his family died in a tragic fire while he was on duty, I was laughing and crying. This also has one of the best plots of a Kevin James film. *SPOILER ALERT* Paul Blart has all his escapades in what he believes to be las vegas. Unfortunately thats only a reality he created. As aforementioned Blart comes to terms with death etc. To further that This movie is actually a construction of Blarts despair filled mind. He went to vegas originally to drink and gamble his problems away until he fell into the deep depression. The very final scene is possibly one of the most tear-jerking scenes I have ever seen in cinema. Blart awakes and he walks through the graveyard where his family is buried. He breaks down in a flurry of tears before shooting himself in the head, thus joining his family. Truly this is an excellent film, worthy of its ten star rating #Blartforever

Reviewed by aeab 1 /10

Are you kidding me!

Who are theses people who loved this movie. It is a complete waste of time and any resources required to produce this steaming pile of garbage. Everyone involved should be ashamed. I ashamed that I watched it. It cost me a whole 75 cents to rent this disaster and in my history of bad investments this is definite the worst offense. That is how bad I think this thing, I can't even call it a movie, is. I can't even believe I have to write ten lines to have this posted. How many ways can I say I hated everything about it. The acting was grade school quality, the plot was nonexistent. To say every bit of cheap comedy and slap stick was predictable is an understatement. Seriously, I only gave it one star because that's as low as the ratings go.

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